Friday, December 4, 2015

Cradle List

I want to get reeaall honest with you guys. I'm feeling it. That tiny ache in my heart that kind of knows it won't go away until there's a baby in my arms. It's very small. Almost unnoticeable. But it's there. I think it has a lot to do with the holidays. From October-December I think having kids is extra fun. Then January rolls around and I kind of feel ok again. So I'm going to see how I feel then. :p

I had a moment. I was looking at a photo of my redheaded little nephew and I just started sobbing. Justin was like OMG WHAT'S WRONG WHO DIED. And I was ugly crying and struggling to breathe and said something along the lines of- If I can love my nephew so much it makes my heart hurt (in a good way) I KNOW I would be the best at loving our child. And then I wrote a contract stating that I would give Justin a baby (he's ready I'm not) once he took me to Ireland. Seriously, this really happened.

But then Saturday rolls around and we sleep until noon without thinking twice. We eat dinner at 9pm sometimes. For the love of god WE JUST BOUGHT A WHITE COUCH. I'm going to be starting a new career this coming fall. And I think, wait. Do I really want to bring a stinky, messy, loud, sleep stealer into this house? I don't know. I'm pretty torn.

Also, Justin and I have been praying a lot about fostering children soon. It's very close to my heart and I just want to wrap up all the children and love on them and hug them and put food in their bellies and give them a warm bed to call their own.

So with all of these feelings and emotions I decided to start putting together a "before baby bucket list" or in HIMYM terms, a cradle list. Here are some of the things we want to accomplish before we become parents:

  • Plan an over the top, probably never do again until the kids go to college, trip of a lifetime. I think we've agreed on Ireland. 
  • Sleep in every weekend. (Totally killin this one)
  • Go someplace new each year
  • Have boudoir shots taken (Justin, not me. KIDDING. One thing that terrifies me about kids is the after baby body I hear so much about. I want to remember my 20-something body as weird as that sounds)
  • Be spontaneous 
  • Attend a pottery or cake decorating class
  • Take a work week off to sit around the house and do absolutely nothing but sleep in, watch movies, eat junk food, etc.
  • Go on a cruise
  • Enjoy and remember these moments that are just us

The truth is, I know all of these things might not happen. It's not a binding contract. I just know how much life changes after you have children. It's like all of the sudden, you have something so much greater to live for than just yourself. And that sounds a little overwhelming to me. Right now I'm living a little bit of a selfish life, and I like that. I just want to slow down and enjoy these days with Justin because I know when I have a threenager in the house who is throwing a fit because they can't eat candy for breakfast and I'm ready to pull my hair out, I'll want to remember these moments. The calm before the storm. :p I do love kids and am excited to have some of our own, but I'm just not completely there yet. This list reminds me of all the things I want to cross off before I entire the new stage of life.  And this list makes me excited because tomorrow isn't all planned out. It never really has been with Justin and me. (I think people actually want to murder us because of this reason) but I like things this way.

I want to keep adding to this list in my personal journal because I know there's more I've forgotten about. I was just excited to jot them down and share them here. What else would you add to this list?

Happy Friday friends!!


  1. This is perfect and it's the reason we're friends. Nate and I were the exact same way. And the holidays the past few years killed me and then January would roll around and I'd be all like "What beach should we hit up April?" all while I was busy doing all kinds of selfish Michelle things.
    The good news is you can still do those things you love with a baby. It's trickier but you guys have such a great relationship that you'll be just fine. You can trust me. I wouldn't lie. Because that lack of sleep thing is super lame. Everyone says you get used to it....which is true. What no one tells you is that you still won't like it. :P

    1. First I need to get really rich so I can hire someone to watch the kid through the night. Then I think I will be ready to make the leap. LOL Ps I can't wait to see your new beach pictures now!!

  2. I'm finally catching up with my blog reading, hence the reason for multiple comments today lol. But this is great. I love, love, love your honesty about it. It's funny though because this is the second post I've read recently that's similar to what your saying. Another girl who isn't ready, but her husband is, and I'm like "what!!!!" Because I am sooooo ready and my husband is like scared to death. And we are a bit older than you guys! (I don't know how old your husband is though..) We're 26 & 27 and married for a year now so I talk about it all the time, and my husband just like steers clear of any conversation that brings up babies. Like he is the one who plans our entire future in every other way but he acts like babies are a zillion years away. I have to remind him all the time like, "you do know we are the same age our parents were when this happened?" It's coming lol. But at the same time, I'm super scared too. I am so selfish still. I love to sleep. I love having the time together just our little family. I sometimes feel like these are the days we will never, ever get back and these are the years that we have to work on our relationship without worrying about anyone else. But...I also feel like my life hasn't even truly started until I have kids. It's really like the hardest decision ever isn't it????

    (Sorry for the longest comment ever! But it's such a good topic!)

    1. Oh but seriously go to Ireland first!!!! We only went there for three days but worth it haha!

    2. So you said it perfectly when you mentioned that life hasn't truly started until I have kids. That's how I feel. But I love just the two of us too and we will never be this young again. Well I'm young. Justin's old. :p I'll be 25 next week and Justin is 31! So you can see how he's a little more ready than I am. haha It truly is the toughest. Give me all your favorite Ireland recs!!!

  3. Once you decide you're ready and you have a sweet little baby, I'm willing to bet that none of those things will matter anymore. Your own child has a way of changing just about everything and they do it in the most incredible way that you have no idea how it happened. All you know is they feel like your whole entire world and nothing before them seems as important anymore. :) xoxo


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